How to Ask a Girl Out: Point Man Style
by infinitely-climbing
Summary: Arthur may be tall, dark, and handsome, but he's shy with girls. Really, really shy. When he starts falling for a certain petite brunette, this becomes a problem. So what's a guy to do? Show her he likes her, of course! Except Arthur's having issues doing that, too. Nine times Arthur tries to show Ariadne he likes her and fails...and one time she actually gets the message.
1. Kiss Her in a Dream

**I am about to become a freshman and guess what? I'm still single. So in honor of that, I'm doing a series of oneshots base off of how I would love to be asked out. Or how I think would be a cute way of showing someone you liked them.**

* * *

**1. Kiss her in a dream and pretend it's part of the job**

* * *

"Quick, give me a kiss."

She doesn't say anything, just leans in and allows him to press his lips to hers for just a second longer than needed.

She opens her mouth and says…

"They're still looking at us."

Well, there goes his dreams of her saying something less job-related.

But what can he do? He goes along with it.

"Yeah, it was a worth a shot. We should probably get out of here."

He gets up, careful not to look at her, and prepares for the next part of the job. When everyone but him is finally under, he manages to mutter out a string of expletives as he realizes that his attempt has not really succeeded.


	2. Bring Her Flowers

**2. Bring her flowers**

* * *

He manages to find out that her favorite flowers are peonies, and runs out immediately to buy a beautiful bouquet of the flowers in every color imaginable. He hopes that it doesn't seem too stalkerish that he knows her address, and that she isn't home, and that he's got her favorite flowers.

He delivers them with a card that says "From your secret admirer" and leaves before she gets home. Of course, he hides behind a corner in the hallway and watches her come back and find the flowers. She smiles.

The next day, he's at the university to ask Miles something (and of course he isn't hoping for a chance to see her. Ahem.) and when he's leaving, he spots her talking to a guy.

He's about to go over there and say hi when she says something that stops him in his tracks.

"So were the peonies from you, Justin?"

Arthur refrains from blurting out, "No, they're from me, and I love you. A lot."

Justin looks confused for a brief second before saying, "Um, yeah!"

Arthur wants to go die in a hole when he sees her smile at Justin.

The next day, she announces that she can't stay too late because she has to get ready for a dinner date with a guy named Justin who gave her peonies and isn't that so sweet?

Arthur smiles the fakest smile he has ever smiled and when he looks up, Eames is looking at him with a knowing look on his face.

Arthur glares at him and goes back to work, and he's just about to hack the mark's email account when a paper airplane flies onto his desk.

_That awkward moment when a girl thinks that your gift is from someone else and goes out for dinner with that someone else._

Arthur cannot help but agree, and as he watches Ariadne leave to get ready, he sighs and wishes that he'd signed the freaking card.


	3. Ask Her About Men During Truth or Dare

**3. Ask her about men while playing strip truth or dare**

* * *

Playing strip truth or dare is all Yusuf's idea. They are deathly bored and have nothing to do, since the power is out and they cannot work, and at first they are willing to do anything as long as they don't have to sit around staring at Yusuf's cat.

"Arthur, truth or dare?" asks Cobb.

"Truth."

Eames mutters, "Wimp." Arthur shoots him a glare that would have Satan himself running for cover.

Cobb gets this evil look and says, "Of all the members on the team except Ariadne, who would you date if you were gay?"

Eames falls over laughing as Arthur blinks and blushes and wishes he'd chosen dare.

"Pass."

Yusuf chuckles and says, "Five items of clothing. And no, your tie doesn't count."

Arthur takes off both shoes, both socks and—dammit. He doesn't have a jacket, which means that he's going to have to take off either his shirt or his pants.

He opts for the shirt.

He doesn't look at Ariadne when he does so, but when it's off, he catches her sneaking a quick glance at his six-pack and smirks.

"Ariadne, truth or dare?"

She blushes a little bit and says, "Um…truth?"

Arthur already knows his question. "So, Ari, whom would _you_ go out with if you had the choice on the team?"

She looks at all of them and says—

"Pass." And then she promptly removes her shoes, socks, and jacket.

Arthur struggles to keep his thoughts PG as a string of choice words begin running through his mind.


	4. Bake Her Cookies

**I have exactly one week before summer school finals! Of course I'm sitting at home writing fanfics instead of studying. At least I can enjoy it, right?**

* * *

**4. Bake her cookies after her jerkwad boyfriend cheats on her**

* * *

Ariadne doesn't show up for work one morning, and doesn't call in sick.

Naturally, the team starts trading conspiracy theories until it becomes an all-out war between Saito, Yusuf, and Eames. Cobb is too busy gazing adoringly at an old family portrait to join in.

Arthur finally gets sick of it and says, "I'll check up on her and make sure she's all right."

The trio stops arguing for a second before they break out into (somewhat lighthearted) protests.

"No! We can't have you be abducted by aliens, too!" cries out Yusuf.

"You can't go! Ariadne might have turned into a vampire!" whimpers Eames.

"No! What if she's become a zombie who eats miniature plastic models of Spongebob Squarepants and then poops out rainbow unicorns and then rides the unicorns to Fairyland and waves around a magic wand saying 'Avada Kedavra' and then everything turns into bubbles and then the Wicked Witch of the West makes a house fall on her pet unicorn and then she turns into a plastic Barbie doll and then rescues her unicorn from the house and eats the Wicked Witch of the West and she's too busy eating the witch to call in sick?" gasps out Saito.

"What the fuck?" says Cobb, seemingly done with staring creepily at pictures of his kids.

The point man rolls his eyes and leaves.

* * *

Arthur doesn't hesitate to knock at her apartment.

He hears a shuffling noise, and Ariadne comes out, red-faced and cheeks tearstained, and snaps, "What do you want, asshole?"

Arthur blinks, not knowing how to respond to that, and he's about ready to leave when she finally looks up and realizes that it's Arthur at the door.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else!" she cries.

"Um…it's okay," he stammers out awkwardly.

"Come in!" she says.

He follows her inside the small but beautifully decorated apartment and she sits down and then starts crying again.

"Ari, are you okay?" he asks hesitantly.

She sniffles and says without preamble, "My jerkwad of a boyfriend cheated on me."

He winces and feels his blood begin to boil and is about to say something that involves a lot of swearing when she begins to speak again.

"With a guy."

Arthur's been in a lot of situations before, but none as awkward as this.

"I'm sor—"

"Shut up, Arthur. You didn't cheat on me with a guy, did you?" she cuts him off.

"…No." _If I could actually have you, I'd never be stupid enough to cheat on you_, he adds in his head.

They sit there awkwardly for a few minutes, and then Arthur is struck by possibly the stupidest idea he's ever had.

"I know just what you need!" he says.

"What? An axe so I can kill Justin?"

Arthur looks at her weirdly for a split second before saying, "You'll see," and rushing off to the kitchen.

* * *

An hour later, Arthur reappears from the kitchen, carrying a tray of chocolate chip cookies. He's covered with flour and clearly tired, but he's got a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

Ariadne shoots off the couch and grabs one and nearly swallows it whole.

"Holy crap, these are amazing!" she says through a mouthful of cookie.

She finishes them in ten minutes and stays there lying on the couch for a minute, and then jumps up.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" she exclaims, throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"He stands there, shocked, for a moment before hugging her back.

"You," she says happily, "are my new best friend."

Friend.

Friend.

Friend.

Friend.

Just friends.

He can't catch a break, can he?


	5. Give Her Guy Advice

**5. Give her guy advice**

* * *

They're out having coffee before work together (unfortunately for Arthur, it's a "friend date") when she says something that makes his heart begin to beat faster than it should.

"I like this guy, but I don't know what to do."

He freezes before calmly saying, "That depends on the guy."

She bites her lip and blushes and says, "He's one of those guys who's always calm when everyone else is freaking out, but manages to do the most unexpected things. He's not a ladies' man and he's kind of quiet, but he's really sweet. Actually…he's kind of like you."

"Oh? Then do something he isn't expecting," Arthur says, an eyebrow raised. Did she just say the guy she likes is like him? What if she's talking about...him?

She contemplates his advice for a second, and then smiles. "That's a good idea! Thank you!" she exclaims, and leans in and—

Kisses him.

On the cheek.

And then she goes over to another guy that Arthur hadn't noticed before in the coffee shop with brown hair and bright green eyes and says, "Hey, Mike."

And then asks him out, which clearly surprises him.

Arthur wishes he'd never given her advice, especially when Mike says yes.

Arthur also wishes he'd been the one to be surprised, and once again feels a green wave of envy wash over him as they walk back to the table he's still sitting at, hand in hand, and Ariadne introduces him to her new boyfriend as a friend, a coworker, and nothing more.


	6. Tell Her You Love Her

**I will admit that the most of what I know about how people act when they get drunk is from watching _Glee_****and reading fanfics. So if this chapter is a little inaccurate, my apologies.**

* * *

**6. Tell her you love her**

* * *

Arthur is the designated driver tonight, which means that he gets to watch everyone else get trashed.

This is why he is sitting all alone at the bar, watching Saito and Eames argue over whose accent it cooler, and Yusuf slurring random stories about his cat to a laughing Ariadne and a sobbing Cobb, who is, in turn, regaling them with stories about Mal, which just makes him cry harder. Ariadne is flitting between them, unable to stop giggling.

Arthur hasn't touched alcohol all night, but just thinking about the car ride back with his drunken teammates makes him want to drink something himself. But he has to stay sober, and refrains from drinking anything.

That is, until Ariadne begins dancing with Cobb, then Eames, the Yusuf, then Saito, and after that, random men.

Arthur orders a cup of Russian vodka and downs it, feeling the familiar burn in the back of his throat. It's not enough to get him drunk, but he does appreciate the slight buzz it gives him.

A few hours later, he finally manages to convince them all to leave. First he drags the still-arguing duo into the car. The slurring chemist goes next, then the sobbing extractor. Finally, Arthur gets Ariadne into the car. She's definitely had the most to drink, and she's still laughing like she can't stop. Also, she can barely walk straight.

Arthur drops them all off, until the only person left is the beautiful architect.

She's still giggling.

"Arthurrrrrrrr," she purrs.

He sighs. "Yes, Ari?"

"I have a secret…"

"What is it?" he says.

She leans over the seat to whisper in his ear, but instead of whispering, she screams, "I LIKE SCARVES A LOT!"

He winces and tries to ignore the ringing in his ear.

"That's…great," he replies.

She giggles. "I know, right?"

She doesn't say anything for the rest of the ride, just sits there murmuring something and laughing.

When they get to her apartment, Arthur has to help her get in, since she can barely walk. He all but carries her in, and drops her on the bed.

She giggles. "You're so cute, Arthur, didja know that? That's what I love about you."

Maybe it's the alcohol in his system or the craziness of the night, but Arthur can't help what he says next.

"I love you, too," he whispers, and waits for a response. After all, drunken words are sober thoughts.

But he never gets one. When he looks back at her, he realizes that she's passed out on the bed.

He kisses her forehead and murmurs, "Sweet dreams," and leaves, shutting her door quietly behind him. It's only when he gets to his car that he lets out a long, frustrated groan.


	7. Pretend to Be Her New Boyfriend

**7. Pretend to be her new boyfriend when she dumps her old one**

* * *

"Arthur, I need your help," are the first words he hears when he walks into the warehouse one morning. He figures it's job-related, so he's rather surprised when she continues, "I need to dump Mike."

He can't help the happy feeling that bubbles up in his chest at that, but he keeps his expression neutral.

"Okay. Why?" he asks.

Ariadne fidgets and says, "Turns out he's a jerk who only wants to get in my pants. He even has a bet going with his friends to see how long it takes to do it."

"And you know this how?" the point man inquires.

She shrugs. "I overheard him talking about it, so I stole his phone to check his texts."

Arthur can't help the small smile that flits across his face at that.

"Do you still have his phone?"

She nods. Arthur smirks and leans in to whisper in her ear, and when he's through telling her his plan, they're both smiling.

* * *

She texts him and tells him to meet her at the coffee shop that she asked him out in the next day.

Arthur gets there early that morning and gets a croissant and a cappuccino and settles in to watch the show. Ariadne shows up a few minutes later and finds a table that Arthur can see and hear from easily, but it's far enough away that Mike wouldn't be able to find Arthur unless he looked.

Ariadne has just taken a sip of her latte when he arrives and immediately seeks the architect out.

"Hey, babe," he says in a way that sends a shiver up her spine.

She doesn't grace his greeting with a response. Instead, she takes another long sip of her coffee before she puts it down and says, "Do you really think I'm an idiot?"

"What?" he says, confused.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" she repeats.

"No! C'mon, hun, what are you talk—"

Ariadne pulls his phone out of her purse, and cuts him off mid-sentence. "Missing something?"

The look on Mike's face is comical. He turns an unnatural shade of red and begins sputtering, but before he can say a word, Ariadne rubs it in and says, "Not only do you need to delete the texts you don't want me to see, but you also need to stop talking about betting fifty bucks on when you get me to sleep with you right before I'm supposed to meet you. You never know when someone's listening, hmm?"

Mike turns even redder, if that's even possible. Arthur tries not to snicker.

Ariadne finally gets up to leave, and Mike's hand shoots out, grabbing her wrist.

"Wait," he says, "I'm sorry about the bet. It was stupid. But I really do like you!"

She raises an eyebrow at him. "Right. And I'm a unicorn."

She pries his fingers off her wrist and leaves for real this time. Arthur stands up, and she walks out with him, linking their arms.

They both sneak a glance at her now-ex one last time as they are walking out the door, and are careful not to look at each other because Arthur knows that eye contact will make both of them laugh, and Mike will realize that this is a ploy.

Once they turn the corner, they both burst into a fit of laughter.

"Oh, my God," Ariadne manages to get out between peals of laughter. "Did you see the look on his face?"

"That," he replies, still chuckling, "was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." _Other than you_.

She reaches up to give him a hug. "If you ever want to pose as my fake new boyfriend again when I dump someone, feel free."

Arthur fake-smiles at the words "fake boyfriend" and hopes that she doesn't see that he'd rather be the real thing.


	8. Get Her an Amazing Christmas Present

**AHHHHHH I have finals tomorrow! But here's a secret: my teacher is letting us use our notes (shhhhh...).**

* * *

**8. Get her an amazing Christmas present**

* * *

He knows exactly what to give her for Christmas.

He does not have to hack her phone, email, or Facebook to figure it out. He just knows her that well. He's been figuring her out in bits and pieces, filling in the mysteries of her enigmatic character.

She's always on his mind.

He takes up most of a day trying to get everything he wants to give her. It takes rounds to various bookstores, boutiques, music shops, and Hallmark to gather everything. By the end, he's exhausted from shopping at places he rarely goes (and he wonders how on earth women can do it).

But he's also sort of excited for Christmas this year, in a way he hasn't been for many years. It's not receiving the gifts that's gotten him so eager. It's the giving.

He finds gifts for the rest of the team, but none of them are as big or as elaborate as hers. He doesn't care about the huge discrepancy. They're all traveling home for the holidays, anyway, except for her, so no one will know. And honestly, they wouldn't be surprised.

He's staying in Paris as well. He's never known his parents—he'd been juggled around in foster care until he turned eighteen—and the only siblings he's ever known are those in his foster families. He was never close to any of the families. He doesn't have any family to go back to.

He's okay with that. One day, hopefully, he'll have a real family.

* * *

On Christmas day, he shows up at her doorstep carrying various boxes.

She gasps. "Arthur, why are you carrying so many presents?"

"They're for you," he says, shrugging.

"But—but—there's so _many_!"

He nods. "I know."

She stands there gaping for a minute before he nudges her.

"Go ahead, open them."

She hesitantly picks up a box and begins unwrapping it.

* * *

A bunch of boxes later, she's holding two new scarves, an Ellie Goulding and two Florence + the Machine CDs ("I heard you're an indie rock fan," he says), an M. C. Escher book, and various contemporary architecture books, not to mention various gift cards. And a giant stuffed giraffe.

"Oh, my gosh! Arthur, you really shouldn't have! How did you even know I love all this stuff?"

He smirks and points to himself. "Point man."

* * *

She makes them hot chocolate and they're sitting around, talking about past Christmases when he looks at her, and her cheeks are rosy and her mouth is red and he realizes that she looks infinitely more beautiful in real life than in pictures and he really wants to grab her and kiss her (and marry her and make babies with her, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here).

By the time they're out of stories, it's noon.

She looks at the clock and says, "Oh, no, I have to visit Professor Miles! Sorry, Arthur, but I've gotta go."

"It's okay, I probably should get going, too," he replies quickly.

She walks him to the door and hugs him and then says, "I love—"

He holds his breath, his heart quickening in anticipation.

"—the presents! Thank you so much!" she exclaims.

He tries not to look too disappointed and smiles and says "You're welcome" once more before leaving.

When he gets home, he wonders how many more Christmases by himself he will have to endure.


	9. Ask Her Out

**Yes, this is number nine, which means that the next chapter is the last! (And I'm sure you've been waiting for it. Poor, poor Arthur.)**

* * *

**9. Ask her out**

* * *

They're eating lunch together, because the rest of the team decided to go out while they were practicing his level. Arthur isn't mad about it, but he figures that he and Ariadne can just go get lunch together so that neither will have to go alone (and hey, it's alone time with her).

Somehow they get into a daring war (Truth or Dare sorts of dares, that is).

"Would you like the bottom of the table?"

"Would you kiss a frog?"

"Would you eat a quarter?"

"Would you chew someone else's gum?"

It goes on and on until Arthur finally blurts out, "Would you go ou—"

And then her phone rings.

"Sorry," she says, and picks up. It's Eames, saying that they've been gone for an hour when they said they'd be back in fifteen minutes.

She hangs up. "So, would you drink coke mixed with salt?"

"Would you go out with me?"

Silence. The question hangs there, unanswered. It's only for a second, but it feels like much longer, like the drawn-out speed of time in a multi-layer dream.

Then, she laughs. "Arthur, you are a fantastic actor. I almost believed you for a moment!"

He laughs along with her (and of course, it's a fake laugh), and mentally groans that even when it's most obvious, she still does not grasp his feelings for her.


	10. The Pickup Line

**I am FINALLY done with finals, which means that I have tomorrow off, and then I have to start a new summer school session. Lucky me.  
**

**Yes, this is the LAST CHAPTER. Thank you so much for reviewing, favoriting, following, and reading this-it means a lot to me. I had a ton of fun writing this. THANK YOU.  
**

* * *

**1.** **The Pickup Line**

* * *

"You are so whipped," says Eames.

"Head over heels," agrees Cobb.

"Pining away," chimes in Yusuf.

Saito opens his mouth to add another comment, but before he can, Arthur yells, "Enough! I get it!"

Saito snickers. "So what are you going to do? Are you going to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?"

Cobb laughs and high fives the Japanese energy tycoon. Eames and Yusuf look slightly confused. Arthur rolls his eyes.

"Hilarious. I'm peeing my pants right now, I'm laughing so hard," he says dryly, giving Yusuf a look when he mentions peeing. The chemist blushes.

"Seriously, though, what're you going to do? She won't be at the warehouse everyday while we go out for lunch to give you girl advice," says Cobb. "What are the odds of her having to stay behind and finish up a maze all the time? She's _Ariadne_, for God's sake."

"I don't know! You're the guy who managed to get married. You tell me!" he cries, exasperated.

Cobb is silent for a moment, and Eames speaks up.

"Do something she won't expect," he offers.

He vaguely remembers telling her the same thing. Unfortunately, he also remembers having it backfire horribly. It's not the best of memories, to say the least, and Arthur can feel the doubt creeping in that this will work. He hasn't had too much success in the past.

Then again, though, maybe it's worth a shot, and he can feel the corners of his mouth curling up as an idea infects his mind.

* * *

The next day, he walks into the warehouse and immediately spots Ariadne drawing out escape routes for his level. He does not hesitate to make his way over to her.

"Hey, Ari, I've got a question for you," he says nonchalantly.

She looks up and says, "What is it?"

Arthur dares a glance at the rest of the team. The four men are watching, wide-eyed. Yusuf whispers, "Is he really going to do it?" to Eames, but Arthur doesn't care.

He takes a deep breath. Now or never, he tells himself.

"Are your legs tired?" he asks.

She blinks. "What? No! What kind of question is th—"

Arthur holds up a hand. "You didn't let me finish," he tells her with an extremely serious face.

She nods.

"Are your legs tired?" he asks again, and she lets him pause for a second before he allows a small smile to grace his face before continuing.

"Because you've been running through my mind all day long!"

She gapes. The men watching in the corner are all laughing silently, but neither pays them any notice.

She opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out.

Arthur begins to go back to his desk and see what she does next when he is struck by another idea that he cannot resist.

"By the way," he says, "do you have a raisin?"

"I—no?" she answers, even more confused.

He grins. "How about a date?"

He finally allows himself to laugh at the shock on her face, and after a beat of silence, she begins to laugh, too.

She sobers up first. "Sure, Arthur," she says.

He stops laughing, as well. "Do you mean it?"

She nods.

"I do, too," he murmurs. She smiles, and it's a fuller smile than he's ever seen on her, even with her exes.

"So are you free tonight?" she asks.

"I'll pick you up at seven," he replies. She smiles even wider at him, and he smiles back, and all of the sudden they are leaning in when—

Eames, Cobb, Yusuf, and Saito all begin clapping and whistling, and the two look up, startled.

Eames winks at them, and the point man feels the urge to smack him.

Ariadne stands up. "I'm going to grab breakfast," she announces, the smile still lighting up her face.

As she's walking out the door, she turns back and looks back at the point man.

"Oh, and Arthur?" she calls out.

"Yeah?" he says.

"Do you live in Tennessee?"

"What? No! I'm from L.A.! I already told you that," he says, confused.

She smirks. "You didn't let me finish," she says, echoing his previous words.

"Do you live in Tennessee?" she repeats.

Pause.

"Because you're the only ten I see!"

She winks, blows him a kiss, and walks out of the warehouse laughing as he gapes, and then finally smiles at her retreating figure.

Sweet, sweet success.

* * *

_Fin_.


End file.
